Mark shared with PEOPLE that a mutual friend initially suggested setting up a group date—but he had other ideas. “‘Can I just call? Can I get a number and just cold‑call?’ And so I did,” he recalled craiyon.com+14people.com+14thepioneerwoman.com+14. Undeterred, he phoned Pam, leaving a message: “We don’t have to all go out. We could get a cup of coffee or something.” To his surprise, she answered. “We went out that night and we’re together ever since,” he said countryliving.com+8people.com+8goodhousekeeping.com+8.

The timing was poetic. It was just after Harmon was named People’s Sexiest Man Alive in 1986, and exactly one year later to the day, they were married—on March 21, 1987 movieguide.org+6fandomwire.com+6foxnews.com+6.

Over the decades, Harmon has been clear there’s no secret formula to their 36+ year marriage. “We laugh. You got to laugh, and you got to talk and communicate… Maybe you just get fortunate and find the right one,” he explained countryliving.com+8people.com+8hellomagazine.com+8. Both leading private lives, they’ve prioritized family—Harmon even chose NCIS for the flexibility it offered him as a father of two .

Their love story stands as a refreshing reminder: sometimes, a bold cold call and genuine connection can lead to a lifetime together.